It’s Monday morning, and that feeling is back. I’m going out for a cycle as part of my new routine. It’s designed to shake the habit I feel I’ve got used to of feeling anxious on a Monday. I want to get the blood pumping, and endorphins flowing and get closer to the zone I operate in when I feel fearless and get excited by the present and the future, and just see opportunities everywhere. I tend to experience “the zone” more from Tuesday onwards, which tells me this is something I can change as, essentially, one day is the same as the next.

As I sat at the breakfast bar contemplating how to fill my time for the next 30-40 minutes, I can feel the fear rising from my stomach. So, I grab my laptop and head over to the comfy chair in the corner and decide to embrace this feeling and not try and fight it. I’m really not a fighter, and fighting has never really got me anywhere. I’ve never been in a physical fight, and the mental and verbal fights I’ve had over the years just haven’t served me well. 

So I decide to write about how I’m feeling. I start to embrace the fear, feel it and just sit with it. As I do this, something strange starts to happen. I start to feel the seeds of excitement. Only seeds, but they are there. The fear becomes less, because I’m not trying to wrestle with it or push it away. I’m starting to own it, and in doing so I’m helping it disperse and taking away the meaning it had 20 minutes ago. As I sat there, I start to chuckle a little to myself (and partly at myself), as I realise I’m taking back a little control. By not trying to control the fear and just let it be, I’m actually taking back control and I’m even having thoughts flying around my head of “maybe I can have some fun with this!” I think today is going to be ok after all. 

I simply sit, feel and accept my feelings, and in doing so, those feelings start to change. Another thought that pops into my head is “maybe anxiety is actually my friend, it’s part of me, and in certain situations, it serves me well, but in others, it needs to be acknowledged and for me to put my arm around it and thank it for trying to protect me and that it should just take a back seat and enjoy the view”.  

I’m a big believer in how you start your day sets the foundations to have a better, more enjoyable day, and so when I do have anxiety on a Monday morning, it messes with my plan of starting the day on a positive note. I have a mantra that I wholeheartedly believe that “you can’t change the world, but you can change the way you look at it”, and so I do believe that it can be as simple as changing my mindset. But before I look to change and choose which mindset I adopt and which way I look at the world, I have to accept and release the feelings I have, as running away from them or fighting them hasn’t proved a sustainable tactic, and when I’m cleared headed I know in my heart that there is a better way.

So, what is my takeaway from this morning?

Stop, breathe, accept how I feel and don’t fight it. Go easy on myself. The last 18 months have been challenging. When feelings build up, remember to accept them, and then look to release them. Today the release was writing. I also find breathing deeply and slowly with a long exhale seems to work wonders too.

Speak soon and Adapt & Flow

Damon